My advice is to try some new techniques and tools to get yourself physically and mentally moving in the same direction. For women, what’s going on in our heads is as important for feeling tingle-y, as what’s going on with our clitoris (orgasm command-central) and our other delightful errogenous areas.

Fingers, vibrators, and good lubricant will do wonders for the physical piece of it but it sounds like you need to find some better mood-setting things that can shift your entire attention to sensual pleasure.

Of course, sometimes that’s easier said than done if your hormones are doing a dip with the hormone of desire, testoterone, or estrogen is messing with vaginal dryness, or progesterone is making you crabby.

But when there’s a flutter of the tingle, seize the day (or night) and have a solo sensual pleasure date with yourself.

Give yourself undivided attention with things you know fuel the embers. Think about what it takes to turn OFF the distracting chatter in your head and think about the things that do turn you ON.

Is it a candlelit bubblebath and a glass of wine followed by smoothing your body with a luscious lotion or oil; is it watching a movie that has sensuous scenes? (Dirty Dancing is my favorite even tho’ it’s to my chagrin that the actors are so young- I think mutual seduction via slow dancing is an ageless experience.) Or get a good book of erotica. It’s just about getting your brain in the mood, as well as your body.

For a book full of good advice about orgasms and self-pleasure, I cannot recommend more highly I (heart) (love) Female Orgasm by Dorian Solot and Marshall Miller.

Boring…that’s no good. You’re headed for that rosy afterglow and delicious feeling of wellbeing…the Tingle, that marvelous, sexy, sensuous feeling that radiates from within!